Depression, Anxiety, and Breaking Down

So over the last month or so my daily weight has seemed to start climbing and now is hovering around the 222-225 mark and in spite of this slowly and steady climb I have continued to eat/drink my feelings. This is the whole reason I had this fucking surgery to begin with and was to be my safety net for these things and hopefully stop me from doing them and I did fucking fantastic up until the last couple of months which led to today’s emotional breakdown.

Feeling as if my stomach is slowly stretching back into the vastness it was which isn’t even logical at all. While it has stretched slightly, which is normal, it hasn’t been whats caused this gain. It’s the snacking and I’ll be damned if going to the gym regularly hasn’t done anything but make the snacking worse. People trying to comfort me say its just muscle gain but as much as I love the attempt but it doesn’t even seem remotely likely.

I’m just fucking ranting, my head is a mess with rambling thoughts. I know I need to get back on track and I’m struggling to do so outside of going to the gym regularly everything else has been crap. So here’s to hoping that this word vomit helps me get back on track.

 

Thanks for the love and support friends.

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